Delusions of... Everything

Conversations in the Car

Conversation Handy Man and I had in the car yesterday.

Me:  I know I'm going to jinx myself by saying this out loud, but not having my period for almost 2 months feels amazing.  I feel so good.

HM:  *silent*

Me:  All the depression, anxiety, mood swings, hot flashes, bloating and whatever else I've been having for years months are gone.

HM:  *silent*

Me:  I feel like I've taken some kind of anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, happy pill.

HM:  You mean like Demerol?

Me:  Have you been slipping me drugs when I wasn't looking?

HM:  *silent*

Me:  *silent*

HM:  Well it could come back and go away again, come back and go away again for years, right?

Me:  It's different for everyone.  Some women wake up one day and it's gone forever.  I really hope that's what happened to me!

HM:  *silent*

I woke up this morning, after a very restless night of sleep and found that indeed I jinxed myself.  Handy Man is right, this is probably going to go on for years.  Oh Joy!

This and That Thursday

While doing the dishes this morning I broke my favorite wine glass.  I'm so sad.

Is it possible to "wish-a-way" the monthly visit from Aunt Flo?  She is almost two weeks late!  No, I am NOT pregnant.  Could this be the end of the monthly visit?  Or is the beginning of the big tease?

I really love Chex Mix.  All the salt of potato chips, without all the fat!

While I was away for the weekend scrapbooking Handy Man did the following:

• Treated the hardwood floors making them shiny, slippery and looking brand new
• Scrubbed clean the downstairs bathroom, including the ceiling!
• Kept the house super uber clean

I'm sure he did a bunch of other stuff, but that's the stuff that stood out to me.  I love that man!

My cat has caught two bunnies in the past two days.  Would you like to see?  If you don't like seeing dead bunnies you should probably skip over the photo!

Not only does she catch them, she eats every last bit of them, even the fur.  Gross!  She thinks she's a lioness.

Any random stuff you want to share with me today?

Overwhelmed

I've had a very interesting week.  My son and his girlfriend broke up.  The wolf moved out.  I started my period 9 days late and barely noticed I was having it.  I watched a movie called P.S. I Love You and thought there couldn't possibly be a sadder movie ever made.  I read this post by Stacie and completely lost it.  I'm an emotional wreck because of all the above things.  Stacie's post was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I feel like I'll be crying for the next week.  Do you think they will notice at work if I'm a blubbering idiot?  Do you think when I answer the phone all dripping with snot and tears the person on the other end will hang up because they think they have the wrong number, causing us to lose business?

Stacie did something amazing.  Something that most people would never have the desire to do.  I don't want to run a marathon.  But I would like to set a goal, train or work toward that goal and achieve it.  I don't know Stacie except through her blog.  I don't know why this accomplishment of hers has moved me so much.  I'm so proud of her hard work and determination.  If you haven't clicked on that link and read her account of running a marathon go do it now.  I'll wait! I know it's long, but it's so worth the read!

I'm overwhelmed by all the changes going on around me this week (I wish one of those changes was spring, but that's not happening yet).  I'm sure most of my strong emotions are a result of this pain in the ass menopause I seem to be knee deep in.  The biggest change of all is going on in my own body.  I'm thinking I might as well add one more change to it.  As much as I hate to say this, as much as I hate to do this, I'm going to commit to exercising.  GAH!  Did I just write that out loud?  I know that exercise will help with all kinds of things that are currently ailing me.  It will help with this funk I'm in.  It will help with this stupid shitty menopause that I have to go through.  It will help with the weight loss that needs to happen before my whole body shuts down.

I'm a very healthy overweight person.  Good cholesterol, no diabetes, no high blood pressure, no medications, I rarely get sick.  I know this can't last.  For some time now a voice in the back of by head has been saying, "Get off your ass and move!"  I've been very successfully ignoring that voice.

Stacie has motivated me to listen to that voice.

I'll keep you posted.

Out of Sorts

Out of sorts is how I'm describing my mood lately.  Did you ever hear of the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books?  I loved those books when I was a kid.  Mrs. Piggle Wiggle lived in an upside down house.  This fascinated me.  I used to sit on the couch backward with my feet up and my head dangling over the edge.  I would imagine what it would be like if our house was upside down.  As a kid that was fascinating, as an adult just thinking about it makes me dizzy.

I don't feel like I'm living in an upside down house, but I'm feeling off.  The things that are making me feel off are beyond my control.  For example the weather.  This morning it's pouring rain, but then it will change over to huge flakes of snow.  This tells me it's not our usual 50 degree spring rain, it's frickin' cold out there.  My period is a week late.  Last cycle it came 3 days early and lasted 8 days, double the time it usually lasts.  Does that mean last time it was a 2 for 1 deal?

Concentration eludes me.  Finding words to put together a blog post takes forever, this is why I haven't finished my latest Pearl Jam post.  Even fairly easy posts like the most recent Fess-Up Friday post did not come across the way I wanted it to.  I liked the spring pictures I took.  In fact I was very pleased with them.  Since I've been using my camera more and more I'm getting a better feel for it and I'm starting to understand where I need to set it to get the look I want.

What I wasn't able to get was the super, uber close up.  I want to see inside the daffodil.  This was as much of a close up picture I could get...Hence the need for a new lens.  To see inside that beauty.

Last Thursday I was taking shots of spring in my yard, Sunday here's what I was photographing.

I've already lost interest in the post even though there was more I wanted to say, I can't remember what it was.  I'm blaming it all on menopause, although I haven't had a hot flash in a few days, I know it's still lurking in the background.

And to top everything off I have nothing green to wear today, in fact I forgot it was St. Patrick's Day until a few minutes ago when I heard the radio announcer say so.  :/

Happy Out of Sorts St. Patrick's Day.