The House Where I Grew Up

On Monday I went to my parents house to drop off a gift for my mom.  This is the house I grew up in, left at age 19 and never looked back.  The same house my parents have lived in for 46 years.  The house where improvements were only made out of necessity; installing a new furnace to keep warm; a sump pump to keep the basement dry; and a new roof so pans could be used for cooking instead of collecting water during the rainy season.

Yesterday, while visiting, I was looking around the house trying to find some connection.  What I saw instead was clutter beyond belief, not quite bad enough to be on Hoarders, but it's pretty close.  The clutter you see is organized.  It's neatly stacked on 6 and 8 foot tables, one of which is right in the middle of the already small living room.  The "stuff" is also stacked all along the walls in the dining area and kitchen.  A few months ago my mom told me they took down the dining room table because they never used it.  It's been replaced by an 8' table which has stuff stacked on top and underneath.

I used the bathroom while I was there.  The original linoleum is almost worn through to the subfloor.  The tub enclosure has many of the original square tiles missing and even more are cracked.  I can't see how they can use the shower without water leaking to the basement.  The sink doesn't work, there is a plastic tub in it to catch the water that is then dumped in the toilet.  I just used hand sanitizer that I carry with me.

As a bonus their 3 cats walk all over the counters in the kitchen... uh, yeah.  By the way the coutnters are pink, 1950's pink.  Before you get too excited and think, "how totally cool and retro that must be", it's so not.  In many places the Formica is broken and peeling away.

When I was about 10 years old the dishwasher broke down.  That was 38 years ago.  For a while my mom used it as a cupboard.  I think my dad finally took it out but it might still be there, I didn't go into the kitchen.  There is only so much I can take.

My dad has never wanted to spend money on the house unless it was necessary (read above).  Now that he's been retired for close to 20 years, there is no money for  improvements.  There is barely enough money for taxes and medical bills.

Sitting there looking around I realized I haven't had a connection to the house I grew up in since I left it, I also realized I have no connection to the lifestyle my parent lead and hopefully I never will.

Comments

[Chrissy]

I need to get in that house for a birdseye view! I love other peoples clutter!

[Asthmagirl]

You could not have described a house that is LESS like you. I can't imagine you or handiman letting the house go like that.

[The Incredible Woody]

It is so sad to see people you love living in such a manner. Vol Fan's sister is much the same, only her piles of stuff are not neat piles of stuff. I have only been to her home twice in the 21 years that I have been married to Vol Fan. That was enough.

[Liz C.]

I have to say that I could see my daughter writing this a few more years down the road, if we don't get out of here. Frankly, it gets to the point you're totally overwhelmed, then can't get anything done. I. Am. There. And, I want out! This could be such a grand show home if Mr. Snoots would quit squeaking & spend some money to update (I have to oil him once a week to keep the squeaks down as it is). However, that's not going to happen in this lifetime. If we'd spend like $10,000 to $15,000 for updating, we could get so much more for our house. Sadly, the hubby doesn't get it & won't do it no matter what.

I'm beginning to think we should be on hoarders or perhaps a new show called Too Stingy To Keep Up Your House...

[Lisa]

Sad realization for you. Odd how parents can raise children who are so very different. Although it may be the conditions and desire for something better (and cleaner) that led to you being so unlike your mother. I know that's the case with my mother and me — my mother who hoards and allows cats on counters, too.

[yogurt]

Not that you asked or indicated you are trying to intervene, and not that it would help anyway, one day you might need to check out this link:

http://www.nsgcd.org/resources/factsheets.php

Somewhere there's a list of categories of the chronically disorganized / cluttered, where it gradually gets to the point of being dangerous. (An advanced stage, for example, is when animals start entering the house). Again, not that you can have any input (or want to) at this point, thought I'd share just the same.

On a different note, it's quite understandable, your lack of connection. There are a lot of drawbacks to our modern societal trend of relocating far from the hometown but there are just as many necessary-to-good-health reasons to do so. Sounds like you've got that familliar feeling of being glad you escaped.