Text conversation between Handy Man and myself...
Me: The dog escaped again, hopefully no big pukes tonight.
HM: Do you leave him out while you're gone? Or does he do it while you're home?
Me: Both. Today while I was gone. He knows how to nudge the gate open. We either need a redneck lock, like a bungee cord, or you need to fix it! lol
HM: Lol. I like the redneck lock of some kind.
Me: Figures!
HM: I'm tired of fixing it only to have the kids slam it and break it.
Me: You might be a redneck if you have a twist tie as a gate lock.
Me: The dog looks really fat. I should prepare for the worse.
HM: Get a clamp or something from the shop to lock the gate and put his ass outside.
Me: Ok, Larry!
HM: Larry? Hell no. I want to be Ron White!
Me: You don't drink or smoke cigars!
HM: Meatballs and gravy for dinner?
Me: Ok, but I don't want to peel potatoes.
HM: Dancing daughter will do it.
Me: She said UHHH WHAT? Where did he hear that?!
HM: Or we could just nuke them.
Today I'm sliding a case of Bud in front of the gate to block it!
Why does the dog escape, roam the neighborhood, eat everything he comes across only to be sick for the next two days?! What do your pets do that drive you crazy?
My dog Mickey goes to a far corner of our overgrown yard and eats something that is so enticing he ignores the call for dinner. Then he pukes it up in the dog room (their bedroom) each night.
BTW, my dad looks and acts just like Ron White. It's very disturbing to even watch his bits because he's too darn much like my dad!
Posted by: Lisa | March 04, 2010 at 07:32 AM
One of my dogs, the little one, is obsessed by sticks, balls, squeaky toys, anything that you can throw and he can chase. If you don't notice him with the item in his mouth he'll bark, even with the thing in his mouth, until you bend down take it from him and throw it again, and again, and again until your arm falls off. I refuse to throw the stuff so he just puts it at my feet or on my lap and nudges it with his nose over and over again. Finally he gets the idea and leaves me alone. My husband on the other hand will toss, throw, roll, or bounce the stuff until the dog passes out from exhaustion. He even does it in the house, sometimes breaking my stuff. One day he tossed the ball for Benny and it hit my collection of Virgin Marys and broke my favorite one. I gasped as she laid on the floor in ruins. I calmly swept her up, with an occasional glare in his direction just to make him feel super guilty, and threw her away. Then I went into the other room and ignored him the rest of the evening. Later when I came back out he had glued her back together and put her back with the other virgins. Now when he starts to toss the ball for the barking dog I just glare at him and point to my alter and ask if he plans on breaking any more virgins. Him and the dog head outside to toss the ball. Now I don't know what is more annoying the dog baking or the husband tossing the ball inside the house. This tossing is one bad habit that I can't seem to break. Anyone know of a good husband trainer?
Posted by: Reva | March 04, 2010 at 07:49 AM
Haha, we have the bungee cord red neck lock. That's awesome!
Lo loves going into the bathroom garbages and bringing every bit of kleenex and toilet paper out into the living room. She doesn't chew them up or anything, just moves them from the waste basket to the living room. Is she building a nest? I don't know. She's weird. I've learned the hard way that she just doesn't do it with tissues. Lady stuff has to go in the kitchen garbage can or she will embarass me in front of house guests.
Posted by: Meg | March 04, 2010 at 08:05 AM
A dog is a permanent two-year-old. You cannot take your eyes off them. I would think Pabst Blue Ribbon might be a little more red-necky;)
Posted by: Mental P Mama | March 04, 2010 at 10:34 AM
haha! my fence is tied to the post with the ac/dc cord from a printer.
Posted by: Chrissyb | March 04, 2010 at 03:33 PM
My dogs poop their innards out until I have to drop big money at the vet to get their colons plugged up. They also hog the blankets.
And our gates are padlocked so our creepy neighbors don't wander in and out of our yard.
Wankers.
Posted by: Asthmagirl | March 04, 2010 at 06:46 PM
Hahaha, thank goodness no dog here. All the dogs in OJland roam free in packs...I'm sure it would be a HUGE load of trouble!
Posted by: Rachel | March 05, 2010 at 07:52 AM