Where I share my Epiphany and you tell me if I'm crazy...

On January 22, 2010 I was laid off from a part time administrative assistant job with a small family owned steel fabricating company.  While I was shocked when it happened I wasn't angry, I was sad.  Sad because I wouldn't be seeing people that I loved working with.  I know it was totally a business decision and I have absolutely no hard feelings.  In fact I appreciate that I was able to work there at all.  They hired me at a time I had been out of the office work force for years.

For 14 years I was a child care provider.  I was a self employed business owner, complete with clients, 1 paid employee and 1 volunteer.  I worked 12 hours a day for relatively little pay.  I loved working with the kids.  I made a couple friends for life, one being fellow blogger Asthmagirl.  My son found his best friend for life.  I was able to care for my children while providing a valuable service to families.  I gave it my all.  I went to college and received my Child Development Associate Credential.  This meant more to me than a degree because it was based on classroom work as well as work experience.  I was observed and assessed working with the kids as part of the credential process.  This enriched the environment for my day care kids as well as my own kids.    I felt like I was making a difference to the lives of children and families...

This is where the epiphany starts...

After the lay off I got on the computer and started searching for any jobs I was qualified for.  Call it a survival instinct, whatever.  I felt the need to find a job, any job, instantly.  I revamped my resume, filled out online applications and on the Monday after the lay off I applied for 4 jobs, only one of which I was remotely interested in and probably not qualified for.  

I was called for an interview rather quickly.  This interview was the confidence boost I needed to really think about what I want to do for the 15-20 years of work life I have before retiring.  Handy Man is fond of telling me I sell myself short; I'm not paid what I'm worth he says.  Well the guy that interviewed me told me not to sell myself short and that I was way over-qualified for the position he was offering.  He told me I had the whole package.  He called me the evening after the interview to inquire about my level of interest.  I told him I was interested to hear more about the job because interestingly we didn't talk much about it during the interview.  He said he was glad to hear it but he was concerned about how low the salary was.  I told him that was a concern of mine too, but not because I'm motivated by money, but because my husband is.

As soon as those words were out of my mouth a huge light went off in my head.  The guy kept talking but I was only half listening. (If I'm not motivated by money what is my motivation?) We agreed to do a second interview and hung up.

Here's where the epiphany starts getting clearer...

Handy Man and I talked and talked, trying to decipher what the guy was trying to say between the lines.  I felt he was telling me to name my price during the second interview.  I felt like he intended to hire me if we could agree on a wage.  Handy Man and I agreed on an hourly wage to ask for and that was that... Except...  I had a sick nagging feeling.  I didn't want to settle for a similar job where I might be bored some of the time, not to mention the chance of being laid off again because of the state of construction in this economy.  Plus I wanted to be challenged and make a difference.

Here's where the epiphany smacks me in the head...

I continued searching for jobs and I started seeing ones that excited me and I noticed that they were all related to children and/or education.  Interesting, but not surprising.  I found interesting positions at PSESD, Child Care Resources, Community Colleges, the local school district and the local children's center that serves high risk children and families teaching them to be successful and self sufficient.  The more I thought about it the more I knew I needed a job at one of those type of places.  Something where I put my talent to use helping children, families and/or the community.  That's what I'm meant to do.  Somehow I'd forgotten that I'd done it for 14 years as a child care provider and I need to get back to that.  That's my purpose.  (I had found my motivation.)

So when the guy called me back this week to schedule the second interview I stared to tell him about my epiphany and before I could even finish he stopped me and said, "I'm so proud of you for what you are about to say to me."...  "You are way over qualified for this position."...  "I'm so happy you made this decision."...  "We received 290 applications and you were our number 1, remember that as you go on your next interview."...  "Just know that if you ever want to work for us you can give me a call."  I don't think I properly express my gratitude to him.  I'm so glad I took that first interview, even though the money was low.

I decided not to settle just so I could get a paycheck and I hope I never get to a point where I must.  I'm holding out for as long as I can for a position that excites me that makes me feel like I'm making a difference in this world.  Am I crazy? 

Comments

[Asthmagirl]

Hello Friend...

Please remember all that time I worked for GJ and the shock of being laid off. And then being a loaned exec and how po'd I got at state worker mentality (not giving it their all, and not including handyman!)...
... then I got offered the job I have now with the agency that's such a great fit for me because of K3...

HELLO!!!!

*waving flag*

You're so smart! Do what you love! Contribute!

[Reva]

For most of us we accept positions that we know we will not enjoy, be bored with, or frustrated at the tactics of the corporate world. Most of us are externally motivated by others wanting us to take anything or the lure of a decent salary. What we don't do is listen to ourselves. The universe was listening and sent you a whisper in the form of an interviewer who was willing to be honest with you and tell you your worth. You are not crazy at all; what you are doing is listening and that's a good thing. When we follow our heart the universe will answer. (Loud clapping and cheering here on Whidbey for ya) I love it when we get it right.

[Sandy Pettingill]

Want to earn some money selling PartyLite while you're searching for the right job? You are not crazy, you stopped and listened and that is the opposite of crazy in this crazy, fast life we live in. Maybe we all have moments like yours but we don't take the time to listen to them. Thank you for your story and insight.

[The Incredible Woody]

Do what you love and love what you do!! Most poeple spend what too much time just toiling away after the mighty dollar and make themselves miserable in the process. I'm proud of you!!

[Meg B]

I think that is an amazing epiphany and good for you for realizing it before you accepted one of those other jobs. I will keep my fingers crossed you find the perfect job for you.

[Lisa]

Woo-hoo! You are NOT crazy and I'm so proud of you for following your gut instinct. Do what you love, what you're most qualified for, what makes a difference for the world around you and puts a huge smile on your face and a warm fuzzy in your heart. Very, very cool for the guy to urge you to do what's right for you rather than try to convince you to work for him. Congrats on being his No. 1. Now onto finding that No. 1 job for you! Good luck!!

[Robin from Israel]

Wow, I am so impressed with and so PROUD of you! Good for you Tammy! Follow your heart.

[Tracey of These Nine Acres]

Follow the heart. Sometimes our brains catch up. Glad yours did.

xoxo