It's no secret I've been feeling down for a few weeks. I've tried to stay positive in my thoughts and actions. I let the house cleaning slip a few times and didn't make dinner as expected more than I care to admit. While I could tell these things irritated Handy Man he never said anything to me, with words, but I knew he wasn't thrilled. He knows I haven't been my usual self and he's given me some room to be, which I appreciate more than I can say. I'm beating myself up enough for not doing things as it is, I'm glad he hasn't added to it.
Since we've had a couple days of simply amazing weather, I mean really even beyond amazing, I'm discovering that I might have seasonal depression. I've heard of people experiencing this, but never thought too much about it. I've always enjoyed winter, call me weird. I look forward to fall because I know winter is close behind. I don't like being hot, so summer and I have not gotten along all that well. But let me tell you the last three days of sunshine and warmth has rejuvenated me.
I worked in the yard weeding, pruning and planting. I washed the car. I sat in the sun in the courtyard and read my book. I watched the dog and the cat bask in the sun in the courtyard. I ate lunch outside on Monday. I made iced tea! I sat on the edge of the pond and watched the fish dart around. I felt like I was on vacation, when actually I've done more work around the house than I have in a long time.
It's not the new supplement making me feel better either, I stopped taking it. It helped me sleep, but it also made me feel strange. I can't really describe it, but I just felt odd, kind of foggy I guess. And it upset my stomach. I stopped taking it on Saturday and by Sunday night was back to not sleeping well again, but I'm ok with that, for now.
I have an appointment for a physical coming up and will be curious to see what comes of that. I'm insisting on having a blood test to see if I'm truly menopausal. The doctor I'm seeing is very open to natural remedies, so I'm hopeful she will be able to help with what ails me.
Because of the nice weather I dug my capri pants out of the back of the closet, since I can't wait to be out of my winter wardrobe, even if it's only temporary. I feel like I've gained at least 20 pounds through the very inactive winter I've had. With much reluctance I tried on all five pairs, happily every single pair still fit just like last year. Big sigh of relief. I only feel like I've gained weight. It must be my mood that made me feel heavier.
I'll be enjoying another day of sunshine and warmth today! What will you be doing?
I hope you figure out the depression thing. This winter was odd with all the snow. Maybe it more of an effect on you than rain and grey skies would have!
Glad your pants still fit. I can't say the same!
Posted by: Asthmagirl | April 07, 2009 at 06:40 AM
It was beautiful and almost 80 degrees here on Sunday and this morning I woke up to about an inch and half of snow on the ground :(
I truly believe I have some sort of seasonal depression or even lack of sunshine depression. I can tell I'm always in a better mood when the sun it even if it's cold out.
I hope everything goes well with your physical.
Enjoy the sun and the warmth :)
Posted by: Julie | April 07, 2009 at 06:53 AM
Recovering from a late nite out with MPM, TSAnnie and BHE ... can you say exhausted and its only Tuesday ...
I have been on HRT for a long time ... life is good ... I recommend it for what ails you IF you are indeed suffering from the M word
Posted by: Daryl | April 07, 2009 at 07:26 AM
SAD can sneak up on you. I have the lights that help. But I am glad you are going to get to the bottom of it with your doc. There are so many things out there to help;)
Posted by: Mental P Mama | April 07, 2009 at 08:16 AM
That's good news about the pants--I wish I could say the same.
It can be very difficult to detect hormonal changes with just one blood test as your levels can vary from day to day. Make sure they're open to testing a few times.
Posted by: Jenn @ Juggling Life | April 07, 2009 at 08:52 AM
Glad your pants still fit.
Seasonal depression is no good. At least you've figured out what might be the cause and you're back on track. The worst part about letting things slide like that is it keeps getting worse and the worse it gets the less you want to tackle any project like laundry or house cleaning.
Enjoy the sunshine. I'm wearing a sweater and pants and socks because it's in the thirties. It'll be spring soon, right? 'cuase I miss the sun...
Posted by: Meg | April 07, 2009 at 08:56 AM
Have you tried the tanning booth? Doesn't that help S.A.D.?
Posted by: noble pig | April 07, 2009 at 09:12 AM
I've always thought my problem with winter was not seeing the sun. I can handle cold, etc. But no sun sends me into the doldrums faster than a speeding bullet!
Posted by: The Incredible Woody | April 07, 2009 at 09:58 AM
I suffer a touch from SAD. I was a happy camper this weekend with the gorgeous weather. Today? Not so great. Cloudy, windy, lovw 40's with a chance of snow flurries. And I was so ready to break out the flip flops.
Posted by: ♥Tracey♥ | April 07, 2009 at 12:23 PM
Tam- whatever happened to those rose tinted glasses from Curtis??? What did we call them?
Posted by: JLA | April 07, 2009 at 07:33 PM