This is the "I got nothing" edition of Fess Up Friday.
I've been working on three different posts that won't come together. One of them I really need to get off my chest. I can't seem to write it without sounding like I'm spewing all over everyone. I have three different versions in my drafts folder. The third one I just spent over 30 minutes trying to compose.
I decided to say F-it and tell a funny story instead.
In April 2002 our next door neighbors invited us to his 40th birthday party. We weren't good friends with this couple, but we had a good neighbor relationship so we decided to go. Plus part of the party was at a local winery and I couldn't say no to that!
It was our first time at the winery. We were mingling and looking around as other guest were arriving. I noticed this slightly creepy guy staring at me. He was wearing one of those gym suits, you know nylon pants with the matching jacket. Every time I looked up there he was staring at me, even while he was talking to other people. I took Handy Man's arm and never let go. I was completely freaked out! After sampling all different wines it was time to move the party to our neighbor's house.
Handy Man and I went home first to say good night to the kids who were having a great time with grandma. Once at the party we start mingling again and decide to grab some food. I got caught talking with someone, so Handy Man went on ahead of me. By the time I got to the food line Handy Man was gone. I was dishing up my food and all of a sudden creepy guy was there standing next to me.
Tammy... (he says my maiden name, in that "I'd know you anywhere" tone)
Oh shit! He used my maiden name, that means I know this guy from my high school years or before. I looked at him closely and with no recognition said,
Yes, and you are?
It's me, Mike...
OH SHIT! I nearly dropped my food plate. It couldn't be. I could hardly speak, but I manage...
Oh wow, how are you? How do you know birthday boy?
I've known D forever, we go way back to high school. Are you married?
Yes.
Ahhh, me too. He looks disappointed.
Well ok, I'm going to find my husband eat.
Ok, it was GREAT seeing you, I'm sure I'll see you around the party.
Holy Shit, was all I could think.
I found Handy Man out on the deck and said...
The first guy I ever had sex with is here.
I don't want to know, he said.
Oh yes you do, you are so much hotter than him. I'm embarrassed to point him out to you.
Laughter
Later I see him with a very pregnant woman (who I later found out was his wife) and point him out to Handy Man.
Again with the laughter.
I still can't believe I didn't recognize him. I also can't believe I ever thought I loved him AND had my first sexual experience with him. Sometimes it's best to not go back!
Too funny! I think you might have told me this story when we were in the midst of beautification!
Either way, I think you need to suck it up and spew. That's what the blog is for. And if it's about your mil, we'll all understand. Or your sil. Or your nieces.
See, now I'm trying to figure out what's at the root of the venting!
Posted by: Asthmagirl | February 20, 2009 at 06:29 AM
Obviously you made an impression on him..and he never forgot you..too bad you couldn't say the same for him..hehehe.. great story!
Posted by: Chrissy | February 20, 2009 at 06:53 AM
You have certainly piqued AsthmaGirl's curiosity! Better spew;) By the way, did I hear you are coming to the Virginia blogfest?
Posted by: Mental P Mama | February 20, 2009 at 07:23 AM
Ack! Seriously.
Posted by: Jenn @ Juggling Life | February 20, 2009 at 10:46 AM
Oh. My. Lord. That's all I got. Oh. My. Lord.
Posted by: ♥Tracey♥ | February 20, 2009 at 11:11 AM
I completely understand the "best to not go back" philosophy. BTDT. Different era, different me. It's kind of sad he can't think of any additional small talk than, "are you married?"
Posted by: phd in yogurtry | February 20, 2009 at 02:31 PM