Generally I'm an optimistic person. I see the glass as half full. I tend to have faith that everything will work out. I see problems as challenges. Handy Man on the other hand is totally the opposite. He worries that things will not work out. A problem comes up and he thinks of the worse case scenario.
The other day the computer went cattywompus (yes it's a real word, here is the urban dictionary definition - topsy-turvy; weird; To be all helter skelter and askew. Not functioning on all cylinders, or just plain strange.) That exactly describes what the desk top looked like. It was all big and jumped around every time the mouse was moved. It was dizzying to look at. Handy Man's first reaction was it needed to be taken into the shop. My first reaction was, Star Wars Son can fix it when he gets home from school.
It turned out the mouse scroll knob got pushed while the apple button was pushed, or something like that... which magnified the screen. You know who figured it out after some brainstorming with both the kids? Handy Man... the chronic pessimist who initially said it needed to go into the shop ended up fixing it.
It's been very difficult for me to stay optimistic in my job search when I know Handy Man is in the wings thinking we are doomed to a life of poverty. The interesting thing is that I can totally understand his fears. It's possible we will have to pay the mortgage on two houses for a few months before our rental house sells. That is very scary. Super scary.
I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. However, when surrounded by heavy negativity it's very difficult for me to draw a positive thought. I'm struggling on the edge of depression. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed let alone pick up my camera, write daily or read my book (I've been reading the same book since the first of the year).
Yet I'm powering on. I do get up every morning. I work out 3-4 times a week. I'm showering. I'm reading your blogs. I'm applying for jobs. I'm even cooking dinner (mostly) and doing the dishes. Every one of those things has been a huge chore. At the end of every day I'm congratulating myself for being productive and hoping I can get up and do it all over again the next day. That's the best I've got at the moment.
Now I'm off to look for my optimism and apply for more jobs.